Your Dating TalesTALES FROM THE DATING CRYPT…Crazy tales & advice in these crazy times!

 Loading ...

Date story:
I’m not so sure if I should be sharing my business like this but maybe there is a lesson to be learned some where in all of this.

A while back I took out a friend that is kind of special to me. We never really dated or dialed the booty call number or the FWB thang but we did have that sexual tension and bragging about who would put it on who… As a Scorpio I have my little skills and talents that goes unmatched by others plus my ego to match helps as well. I try not to boast and brag to much or push a situation to a level where I’m not willing to commit to the following actions.

So one night I take my lady friend to a party that my peoples are throwing not as my date but as a friend with other friends. Of course we are dancing, drinking, flirting and everything else. Plus lining up work for after the party or another time. (should I define work? or will everyone get what I mean?) Because she is not the only one I’m flirting with and I know she’s flirting with the other guys in the party.  I continue making my moves shaking hands with all the right people and narrowing down the potential work for the night.

This bad Korean girl and I mean BAD! She was ready too and her friend too. I’m not sure if it would have went down that way but I’ll never know. After the party was just about over I was in a position where I had to drop off my car poolies. Damn but I’m not a ass so I talked with Korean girl to arrange the meet for when I dropped everyone off.

Now old girl that is supposed to be friend is all touchy feely in the back sit while my man rides in the front. Pulling on my ears, rubbing on my neck and once she in the front seat to be dropped of next her hand are all up and down the kid’s thighs in the crotch and everythang. We pull up to here place and we make out something heavy and I’m losing track of time.  My Korean lady is calling and just when I think its over and about to get to moving on she dives in like she’s about to blow the kids dome up and I’m ready for it!   But wait she just opens up my pants then lets her seat back strips off her stretchy pants and goes in on herself!

I mean full blown masturbation.

In my mind I know I got to get this into the house and I do and we are back to making out in the door to the living room couch. I got the key at the pearly gates of Venus trying to make the key fit.  I find the right keyhole and the key is just about no the key is in not all the way but enough! With a deep gasp ole girls sobers up, wakes up, or catches wind of whats about to happen and digs her nails into the back of my neck and says “No Reem you can’t be fuckin me; not like this” WTF! I’m in you! Now is not time to be saying no! I’m in you; not all the way but still in you can I finish?

Well I didn’t say anything like that but I thought it as she went into a emotional spill about whatever. I understand NO and even being intoxicated but I don’t think anyone is ever so intoxicated that they would just masterbate in the front seat of the drivers car then non verbally invite them into the house for more foreplay, let the guy get you undressed and ready to fuck…

Please if its not your intention to go all the way that night or any night please pump your breaks at the car door or the house door! I’m a good dude and take pride in that but WTF if I was just some asshole this could have ended badly! This shit wasn’t even really a date it was some shit that happened. Kind of like Biggie “I got a story to tell”

By Guestblogger Simone Grant

Simone Grant is a writer who lives in NYC. She blogs daily at Sex, Lies and Dating in the City.

I’m not, nor have I ever been, one of those girls who talks about sex with her friends.  If something, um, unpleasant happens with a guy or someone turns out to be less than what I would’ve hoped for in the sack, that’s not info I’d share in graphic detail with anyone.  Nor have I ever heard anyone else’s horror stories.  It’s just not my style.

Well, according to this website, I’ve had pretty good luck all of these years and should be sending out thankyou cards to all of my exes for not being douchebags. Well, to most of my exes.

Anyway, after reading a few dozen of these pitiful submissions I started to think back and wonder – Do I have anything to compare?

Here they are, in no particular order, my own “Sorry Mom” list:

· I’d gone out with this guy a couple times and thought I might REALLY like him.  He seemed nice and thoughtful (which was strange because he was a lawyer and I don’t think of lawyers as nice and thoughtful, in fact I usually avoid them altogether) and as an added bonus he was a great kisser.  And then we had sex.  It took him approx 15 seconds.  He actually said, “I’m sorry, I’m done,” in this little adolescent voice that came out of nowhere.  There was no second act.  Of course I never saw him again.  I can forgive a lot of things, but I can’t forgive bad in bed.

· I was young but not naive.  He was a little bit older.  I was young enough that the 8 or whatever years felt like a lot because I was still a college student and he was a real grown up.  He considered himself a good Catholic and there was a giant crucifix over his bed. Every time we had sex he would say he was going to “give me a baby” right as he came (yes, we were using protection).  He was going to be away for a week.  Right before he left he arranged for me to meet a good friend of his.  He went out of his way to hint/suggest that his good friend keep me company while he was away.  Um, no, I didn’t see him again after that.

· Handsome guy, though older than he said he was online (either that or not aging well).  He was sweet enough and we had fun on our first date. We ended up at my place after a hot makeout session on the sidewalk outside the place we went to on our second date.  Everything seemed fine when we first walked in, we were kissing on my sofa.  Then I paused and said I needed to use the bathroom.  He said, “Can I watch?”  He was not joking.  I wish I could say that I threw him out at that point, but I didn’t.  I was horny and up til that moment everything was good.  I went, with the door firmly shut, and then we eventually ended up naked in the bedroom.  It was not good.  I wish I could say it was quick and not good, but it wasn’t.  It was one of those grin and bear it sessions.  He was from the old jackhammer school.  On the bright side, he didn’t try to stay the night so I got to take a nice, hot bath afterwards.

A version of this article was posted on my blog, Sex, Lies and Dating in the City on February 8, 2009.