Your Dating TalesTALES FROM THE DATING CRYPT…Crazy tales & advice in these crazy times!

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Yes, it’s been some time since my last post…

I was out of town for 2 weeks and that’s all it took!

Why do the wrong guys ALWAYS come back around?  (On the subject of coming back around, Derrick’s post was soooo timely).

Two lame-a** boys of dating past were trying desperately to get in touch with me.

If you want to know who I’m talking about, refer to previous posts:

http://www.yourdatingtales.com/2009/03/29/please-spare-all-the-details-2/

http://www.yourdatingtales.com/2009/03/29/commitment-and-san-francisco-are-like-oil-and-water-2/

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A married man and a serial-online-dating-liar. WTF?

The married guy left two messages on my voice mail wanting to get together for lunch.  He also sent me an email wanting to know “what happened” to me.   First of all, I hadn’t been in touch with that guy since he told me he was married.  I didn’t want anything to do with him after that.  On top of that, he’s weird, not so good looking (think of a brown Humpty-Dumpty), and he’s got kids.  That’s just f-d up that he’s calling me.

The serial-online-dating-liar had the balls to send me a text saying “Hello, who is this?”  Then he turned around and call me right away.  His message was something like,  “Oh hey, I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing.  Maybe I’ll be in the city sometime…”  Oh please.  Was he trying to set himself up for some nookie?  Well not from me, that’s for sure.  I told him off a LONG time ago so he really must have no self-respect.

Needless to say, I haven’t returned either of their calls.

Do guys have no shame? WHY would a lame-ass guy who has no business even breathing air try to contact me?

Maybe it was just coincidence that I wasn’t around.  Or maybe it was a blessing.

I’m a good catch   Lots of us are.

But I’ve seen and done some things that would never get me a good man!

Ladies, if you want a decent guy, you gotta be a decent girl.

Here are five things NOT to do….

1. Don’t get drunk in front of a guy.

Pretty self explanatory, right?  But why do so many girls get sloppy-wasted in front of a guy?  If you’re on a date and drinks are involved, pace yourself!!!  One, or two drinks MAX.  And if he’s gonna buy you drinks, then he better buy you food too.

See my post:  When It’s time to Go Home, You Got to Get the F*** Out

Nuff Said!

2. Don’t offer to pay.

I’m sorry, but why do girls offer to pay on the first or even second date?  I would never even offer, because what if a guy takes you up on that offer?  It would be a super red flag if he did.  But who cares?  Don’t even go there!

It’s not a woman’s place to pay for dinner or drinks. If you offer and he says “yes”, it’s your fault!

3. Don’t accept a date invitation by text!

OK, when a guy texts “hi, hello…”, that’s fine.  But if he asks you out via text-message, DO NOT ACCEPT!  Yes, times are-a-changin’, but this one is a no-brainer.  I’ve had a handful of guys try to ask me out on a date via text, and I can’t help but think to myself, “Damn, is he too lazy to call me to make plans?”

When a girl accepts a text-message invitation, I think it sends a message to a guy that it’s ok to be lazy.

That’s just my humble opinion

4. Don’t talk about money.

I won’t ever let a guy take me into a conversation about money.  Trust me, so many guys have tried to lead me into that subject, but I back out without hesitation. WHY?  Because how much money a woman makes is NONE of a guy’s business.

I’ll write more on this subject later, but for now, just know that if a guy is prying into your financial life, it’s a TOTAL red flag.

Letting him into your financial situation is like givin up the “goods” too soon, if you know what I mean.

5. Don’t act like a hoe.

How many of us have made this mistake?  I won’t say if I have or not, ha ha! Acting like a hoe entails MANY things.

What’s on the list?  Givin it up on the first date, booty calls, being too easy in general.

If you have self respect, then demand the same from the guy!

What is it about this city that is so non-committal?

I’m noticing a trend here. Ok, it’s not a trend. It’s a lifestyle.

Yes, people here are free-thinking and alternative. They go against the grain in so many aspects of life. But when it comes to commitment, it feels like men (and women!) run like Bubonic Plague is coming.

Prime example…

I met someone online (Don’t want to mention the website, but it is one of the most popular dating websites out there). We liked each other, got along perfectly, and had been seeing each other on and off for the past year and a half. But in all of that time, that casual complacency set in. Finally, it came to the point where I said (paraphrasing) “Look, no more casual dating for us. It’s either time to commit, or time to say goodbye.” Well, he assured me that the conversation was best left spoken in person. In the meantime though, he said that he took his profile off that site. He also continued to call and stay in close contact with me.

All along, I was thinking, why is it taking so long to talk about the subject?!? If you like me, you like me. And after all of this time, I really don’t want to be strung along, ya know!

A few weeks later, something in my gut told me to check that website. So I did.

Whaddya know…he was on there. In full view. Active.

What did I do? Said goodbye and good riddance.

Moral here? Don’t be silly like me and ignore those obvious signs signs signs…

Ladies: Check ‘em. Check the man and check your gut. I think both will lead you to the right place.
Men: Don’t string girls along. It’s just juvenile. If you want to play around with girls, then go back to the sandbox and stay there.