Your Dating TalesTALES FROM THE DATING CRYPT…Crazy tales & advice in these crazy times!

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Date story:
I’m not so sure if I should be sharing my business like this but maybe there is a lesson to be learned some where in all of this.

A while back I took out a friend that is kind of special to me. We never really dated or dialed the booty call number or the FWB thang but we did have that sexual tension and bragging about who would put it on who… As a Scorpio I have my little skills and talents that goes unmatched by others plus my ego to match helps as well. I try not to boast and brag to much or push a situation to a level where I’m not willing to commit to the following actions.

So one night I take my lady friend to a party that my peoples are throwing not as my date but as a friend with other friends. Of course we are dancing, drinking, flirting and everything else. Plus lining up work for after the party or another time. (should I define work? or will everyone get what I mean?) Because she is not the only one I’m flirting with and I know she’s flirting with the other guys in the party.  I continue making my moves shaking hands with all the right people and narrowing down the potential work for the night.

This bad Korean girl and I mean BAD! She was ready too and her friend too. I’m not sure if it would have went down that way but I’ll never know. After the party was just about over I was in a position where I had to drop off my car poolies. Damn but I’m not a ass so I talked with Korean girl to arrange the meet for when I dropped everyone off.

Now old girl that is supposed to be friend is all touchy feely in the back sit while my man rides in the front. Pulling on my ears, rubbing on my neck and once she in the front seat to be dropped of next her hand are all up and down the kid’s thighs in the crotch and everythang. We pull up to here place and we make out something heavy and I’m losing track of time.  My Korean lady is calling and just when I think its over and about to get to moving on she dives in like she’s about to blow the kids dome up and I’m ready for it!   But wait she just opens up my pants then lets her seat back strips off her stretchy pants and goes in on herself!

I mean full blown masturbation.

In my mind I know I got to get this into the house and I do and we are back to making out in the door to the living room couch. I got the key at the pearly gates of Venus trying to make the key fit.  I find the right keyhole and the key is just about no the key is in not all the way but enough! With a deep gasp ole girls sobers up, wakes up, or catches wind of whats about to happen and digs her nails into the back of my neck and says “No Reem you can’t be fuckin me; not like this” WTF! I’m in you! Now is not time to be saying no! I’m in you; not all the way but still in you can I finish?

Well I didn’t say anything like that but I thought it as she went into a emotional spill about whatever. I understand NO and even being intoxicated but I don’t think anyone is ever so intoxicated that they would just masterbate in the front seat of the drivers car then non verbally invite them into the house for more foreplay, let the guy get you undressed and ready to fuck…

Please if its not your intention to go all the way that night or any night please pump your breaks at the car door or the house door! I’m a good dude and take pride in that but WTF if I was just some asshole this could have ended badly! This shit wasn’t even really a date it was some shit that happened. Kind of like Biggie “I got a story to tell”

This is a short but sweet list of five of things guys have done on dates that have freaked me out…

1. I was out to dinner with a guy who didn’t listen to a word I would say.  Everything I said to him had to be repeated.

At some point, I told him that I was vegetarian.

Later on, wanting to share his food without telling me, he cut off a huge piece of his steak and placed it on my plate.

I was mortified!  (Keep in mind, I haven’t eaten meat for 20 years.)

2. A guy sitting across from me at lunch on a hot summer day paid me this compliment:  “You have beautiful eyes.”

Me:  “Oh, but I’m wearing sunglasses!  You can’t see them.”

Him:  “I can see everything”.

Me thinking:  Weirdo!

3. I was out to dinner with a guy I’d just met, and he was totally boring to me.  After 2 hours, I told him that I had to get home and get some rest.  Our waitress was around somewhere, but we didn’t see her right away.

My date was so eager to fulfill my request that he invaded the restaurant kitchen to look for the waitress.

I was so embarassed that I had to wait for him outside.

4. I met a guy for a drink date in the Castro.  He was definitely hot and a lot of the men passing by were staring.

Finally, some of those men were bold enough to start talking to my date.

And to my total shock, my date flirted back with the guys!!!!!

I think he was really playing for the other team

5. A guy asked me to pay for dinner.

NEVER!