Your Dating TalesTALES FROM THE DATING CRYPT…Crazy tales & advice in these crazy times!

Indeed.

(This post is dedicated to my friends J.C. and Davey D.)

We’ve bashed ‘em, we’ve trashed ‘em.  We’ve judged, we’ve laughed, we’ve peed our pants .

By popular request, it’s time to focus on the positive.

Guess what…There actually ARE guys out there who do things right!

This wasn’t a “date”, but more of a friendly “get together.”  Either way, I took notice.  And hey guys, girls do take notice when you do good.  Consider it money in your dating bank!

Now I present:  THE RIGHT THINGS TO DO.

First, he called me with a plan in mind. Dinner and a movie it was.  Did I care what movie?  No.  And dinner?  HUGE HUGE HUGE points for remembering my diet sensitivities.  For that, I wasn’t picky about the restaurant either.

Second, a take charge kinda guy…a rare breed indeed.  He knew the movie time, bought the movie tickets right away, gave us enough time to eat dinner, with an option to sit for drinks!

Third, he talked! YES, conversation is underrated these days, but indeed it is a good thing.  Whenever you can relate to the person with whom you are face to face, life becomes SOOO much easier.

Fourth, he offered snacks at the movie! Such a nice gesture.  Especially since I have a sweet tooth.  ‘Nuff said!

Fifth, he allowed me to drive home OK, so he was humble enough to admit that he’d had a little too much to drink.  Plus he’s got a super nice car.  Humility + nice car = way to impress!

*****LAST BUT NOT LEAST:  He opened EVERY door.******

It’s just a little something that always makes a girl feel good.  Life doesn’t get any better than that.

No bashing this time around.  And just for the record, I would not have written anything if I had a crappy time. This is my friend we’re talkin’ about here!

(J.C., thank you for being such a shining example!)

I’m a good catch   Lots of us are.

But I’ve seen and done some things that would never get me a good man!

Ladies, if you want a decent guy, you gotta be a decent girl.

Here are five things NOT to do….

1. Don’t get drunk in front of a guy.

Pretty self explanatory, right?  But why do so many girls get sloppy-wasted in front of a guy?  If you’re on a date and drinks are involved, pace yourself!!!  One, or two drinks MAX.  And if he’s gonna buy you drinks, then he better buy you food too.

See my post:  When It’s time to Go Home, You Got to Get the F*** Out

Nuff Said!

2. Don’t offer to pay.

I’m sorry, but why do girls offer to pay on the first or even second date?  I would never even offer, because what if a guy takes you up on that offer?  It would be a super red flag if he did.  But who cares?  Don’t even go there!

It’s not a woman’s place to pay for dinner or drinks. If you offer and he says “yes”, it’s your fault!

3. Don’t accept a date invitation by text!

OK, when a guy texts “hi, hello…”, that’s fine.  But if he asks you out via text-message, DO NOT ACCEPT!  Yes, times are-a-changin’, but this one is a no-brainer.  I’ve had a handful of guys try to ask me out on a date via text, and I can’t help but think to myself, “Damn, is he too lazy to call me to make plans?”

When a girl accepts a text-message invitation, I think it sends a message to a guy that it’s ok to be lazy.

That’s just my humble opinion

4. Don’t talk about money.

I won’t ever let a guy take me into a conversation about money.  Trust me, so many guys have tried to lead me into that subject, but I back out without hesitation. WHY?  Because how much money a woman makes is NONE of a guy’s business.

I’ll write more on this subject later, but for now, just know that if a guy is prying into your financial life, it’s a TOTAL red flag.

Letting him into your financial situation is like givin up the “goods” too soon, if you know what I mean.

5. Don’t act like a hoe.

How many of us have made this mistake?  I won’t say if I have or not, ha ha! Acting like a hoe entails MANY things.

What’s on the list?  Givin it up on the first date, booty calls, being too easy in general.

If you have self respect, then demand the same from the guy!

This is a short but sweet list of five of things guys have done on dates that have freaked me out…

1. I was out to dinner with a guy who didn’t listen to a word I would say.  Everything I said to him had to be repeated.

At some point, I told him that I was vegetarian.

Later on, wanting to share his food without telling me, he cut off a huge piece of his steak and placed it on my plate.

I was mortified!  (Keep in mind, I haven’t eaten meat for 20 years.)

2. A guy sitting across from me at lunch on a hot summer day paid me this compliment:  “You have beautiful eyes.”

Me:  “Oh, but I’m wearing sunglasses!  You can’t see them.”

Him:  “I can see everything”.

Me thinking:  Weirdo!

3. I was out to dinner with a guy I’d just met, and he was totally boring to me.  After 2 hours, I told him that I had to get home and get some rest.  Our waitress was around somewhere, but we didn’t see her right away.

My date was so eager to fulfill my request that he invaded the restaurant kitchen to look for the waitress.

I was so embarassed that I had to wait for him outside.

4. I met a guy for a drink date in the Castro.  He was definitely hot and a lot of the men passing by were staring.

Finally, some of those men were bold enough to start talking to my date.

And to my total shock, my date flirted back with the guys!!!!!

I think he was really playing for the other team

5. A guy asked me to pay for dinner.

NEVER!

There was this guy, one of my “friends” from a review website that I frequent, who invited me out for dinner. Being a fellow reviewer, he had reviewed many of the hot-spots and knew where to go. He was totally raving about this particular restaurant, said that it was fantastic. He ALSO mentioned that the place was a little posh, so I was like, ok, I’ll dress up a bit. Minutes before I arrived, he called me to say that he already there, but that it would be a two-hour wait for restaurant seating!

However, the restaurant did say that he could be seated immediately in the outdoor seating. I was thinking that outdoors would be cool, as long as it was lit and had heat lamps.

When I finally arrived, the guy was sitting in the “outdoor” seating, which by the way, was PATHETIC. It was pitch black, the umbrellas were closed, and there were no lamps. To top that off, he was the only person sitting out there!!!

When I finally walked up to him and made out who he was, I TOTALLY understood why they put his ass out there. You should have seen what this dude was wearing. The dude was wearing a freaking safari outfit–army fatigues and everything–like he just came from the outback or something. I was like, what the hell? At this “posh” restaurant?????

He chose the place, raved about the food, said it was a posh, but showed up looking like he was ready to wrestle alligators!!!

So what did I do? I walked in the restaurant on my own and they seated me right away. On top of that, the host was like, “Oh, don’t worry about your friend, just come with us”. I did my best to just follow his advice, but when my date made it inside, I was totally MORTIFIED. He explained that he normally didn’t dress like that, but he was coming from a “safari party”.

Safari Party? In my head, I was like, “and why didn’t you change?” I sat through one of the most embarassing dinners of my life. And to top that off, he took off early, left $12.00 cash for dinner, and I was left eating on my own.

Dudes: If you’re gonna invite a girl out, can you please class it up a bit? Dress to impress; it doesn’t matter where you’re going!

Girls: Same thing. Try to look nice and keep a good attitude. You never know what may come out of it

Luckily, this other guy who was also alone struck up conversation with me so it ended up being a good night. One that I’ll be telling you about shortly so stay tuned…