Your Dating TalesTALES FROM THE DATING CRYPT…Crazy tales & advice in these crazy times!

Indeed.

(This post is dedicated to my friends J.C. and Davey D.)

We’ve bashed ‘em, we’ve trashed ‘em.  We’ve judged, we’ve laughed, we’ve peed our pants .

By popular request, it’s time to focus on the positive.

Guess what…There actually ARE guys out there who do things right!

This wasn’t a “date”, but more of a friendly “get together.”  Either way, I took notice.  And hey guys, girls do take notice when you do good.  Consider it money in your dating bank!

Now I present:  THE RIGHT THINGS TO DO.

First, he called me with a plan in mind. Dinner and a movie it was.  Did I care what movie?  No.  And dinner?  HUGE HUGE HUGE points for remembering my diet sensitivities.  For that, I wasn’t picky about the restaurant either.

Second, a take charge kinda guy…a rare breed indeed.  He knew the movie time, bought the movie tickets right away, gave us enough time to eat dinner, with an option to sit for drinks!

Third, he talked! YES, conversation is underrated these days, but indeed it is a good thing.  Whenever you can relate to the person with whom you are face to face, life becomes SOOO much easier.

Fourth, he offered snacks at the movie! Such a nice gesture.  Especially since I have a sweet tooth.  ‘Nuff said!

Fifth, he allowed me to drive home OK, so he was humble enough to admit that he’d had a little too much to drink.  Plus he’s got a super nice car.  Humility + nice car = way to impress!

*****LAST BUT NOT LEAST:  He opened EVERY door.******

It’s just a little something that always makes a girl feel good.  Life doesn’t get any better than that.

No bashing this time around.  And just for the record, I would not have written anything if I had a crappy time. This is my friend we’re talkin’ about here!

(J.C., thank you for being such a shining example!)

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Date story:
Back when I was a pup, I dated a african american woman that was very hot. Living in the bay area, and, being white and clueless/colorblind, I had NO IDEA what was in store for me. In the city, no one really cared. if we went to the burb’s like /Richmond or El Cerrito, the brothers were hating big time. I just didn’t get it, but, once I did start to get it, I noticed different behaviors all around.

White chicks, black chicks, black dudes, white guys and everyone in between, all were very interested/shocked/pissed off at this mixed race couple in front of them.

My biggest mistake??? Just to show how clueless I really was, I took her to New Orleans for Mardi Gras!!! Holy shit, the names she was called, the names I was called. Major eye-opening experience. Ultimately, our relationship didn’t work out, no doubt, in part due to our different races and the “friction” that said relationship caused. I just looked at her as an attractive person, others looked at me as an invader/thief.

Just odd.

It’s a rough lesson but it’s true!

Ever dated a guy that didn’t place you in the primetime slot?…

Ever thought about why????

It’s a lesson that goes way back…

About five years ago, I’d met this doctor through an online dating service.  After we’d done the whole e-mailing bit, he’d called me to set up dinner for Thursday night.  Off to a good start

The night we met up for dinner was fabulous.  We were getting along great.  He even paid me a follow-up call the next day to make plans for the next weekend.   Those plans ended up being a movie on a Friday night.  By that point, I totally thought I’d scored!  A doctor?  Friday night?  WHOOP WHOOP!

The Friday night date was fun, but after that date, he never tried to put any moves on me.  No kiss, nothing.  I couldn’t help but wonder why he was holding back because we seemed to be getting along so well.

But oK, fine.  Friday night date….I was moving up the ladder.

The next time he’d asked me out was for a Sunday afternoon semi-formal jazz concert in the city.  I remember thinking…”Wow, he’s asking me out to a more formal event…I’m totally in with this guy”.

Once again, we had a lovely time on the date.

Afterwards, he ended the night with a hug.  WTF?  Was he gay???

OK, now something was wrong.  I mean, it was the third date and no kiss?

So that night, I had to see what was up.

I called him and said, “Listen, this may be kind of an awkward subject, but I have to tell you that the next time we see each other, I have to kiss you.”

He replied hesitantly, “Well, you know what I wanted to tell you tonight?  I am seeing someone else and we’ve decided that we’re going to start seeing each other seriously now.  I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how…”

OMG, I was stunned.  But I handled it well.  I congratulated him and wished him luck.  After all, he had taken me on three great dates.

Unfortunately, this was a rough lesson to take.  But it is so true and it applies to both guys and girls.  Like my favorite matchmaker Patti Stanger said, “If he doesn’t give you Saturday night, he’s not that into you”.

And in this case, not only was he not into me, but he had a girl on the backburer too.