Your Dating TalesTALES FROM THE DATING CRYPT…Crazy tales & advice in these crazy times!

I remember a few years ago I was over this girl house and was chilling over there watching TV.  I heard the door bell ring…well you never who showed up.  It was a guy who tried to robb me a few years back!  That was the end of that relationship…

Fast quick story Philly is a small city got to watch what you do to other people in life you never know when you are goin to see them again.

From DMOBILE215

With the news of David Carradine’s death, I was saddened.  But then when I learned how he died, I was baffled.  A rope around his neck.  OK.  THEN a rope around his penis?  Oh my!

What’s up with the freaky stuff people are into?

Remember the guy from INXS years ago?  I was too young at the time to realize that he was into this same thing.

I’m totally behind so I just had to look it up…

It’s called erotic asphyxiation.  The rope tied around the neck is used to cut off the oxygen supply and stimulate sexual arousal.  The practice has been around for hundreds of years.

Here is the quote from Wiki: The idea for this most likely came from subjects who were executed by hanging. Observers at public hangings noted male victims developed an erection, sometimes remaining after death (death erection), and occasionally ejaculated when being hanged.   Various methods are used to achieve the level of oxygen depletion needed, such as a hanging, suffocation with a plastic bag over the head, self-strangulation such as with a ligature, gas or volatile solvents, chest compression, or some combination of these.

A little weird, a lot dangerous, and seriously SCARY!

Now the other part.

I have NO idea why a man would tie a rope around the penis. WTF????  Wouldn’t that hurt?

Can’t find anything on that one.  I’ll let you know when I do…

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The big dilemma in life:  which condoms do I use?

I was in deep conversation again with my crazy SF Friends, Chilli V from FiDi and Nick from Laguna Beach.  Remember them?

Ribbed condoms:  Do they work? My vote was “no.”

Nick’s vote:  “Whatever.  Ribbed for her pleasure.  Inside-out for MY pleasure.”

WHAT???

Chilli V happens to keep a stash full of ALL sizes.  Even magnums? Yes, even magnums. There is a small chance!   Smart lady.

I can’t say I’ve had that much variety in size, personally.  I use the “one size usually fits all” approach.  So that’s what I have.

Here is what we all agreed….If the guy is a total dick and you want to teach him a lesson, here’s what you do:  When things get hot and heavy, hand him a MAGNUM condom and say, “Here, put this on.” Unless you’re with a player from the NFL, NBA, or Mandingo himself, chances are it will be too big.

Just watch his reaction.

If you really want to be a bee-oych, say something like “Oh, but that’s all I have from my ex boyfriend.”

HA HA HA.

Then he’ll go limp and leave.

OK, this isn’t directly related to dating…

Or maybe it is.

I once dated a guy who was “afraid” to walk around with me in the the Castro district of San Francisco because he didn’t want to be approached by a gay guy.  GIMME A FREAKING BREAK!  He was a homo-phobe and you better believe I dropped his a** real quick!

Likewise, if a guy I meet voted “yes” on Prop 8–that means he has a problem with gay marriage–then he’s out the door, I’m sorry.

In fact, that will now be one of the first questions I ask a guy when I meet him! (Stay tuned for the list of telling questions I ALWAYS ask a guy.)

Why do straight people get so freaked out?  What’s the problem?

I can understand if gay rights impose on everyone else’s rights.  But they don’t.

Oh wait, but they can have a Civil Union….which is passively-aggressively saying that gay people are entitled to “less than” everyone else who has the right to marry.

Ridiculous.

And even if gays did obtain the right to marry, it’s not like they’d be taking anything away from straight people.

Conservatives, don’t even breath this liberal airspace!